Saturday, November 3, 2012

The Dingleberry Buddy (For Gay Bears)

Also works for straight people.  This was another vid based on unfortunate reality.  Despite the fiber, I found myself chasing after a rascal that clearly didn't want to be caught, and it occurred to me how useful a toilet-side mirror would be.  I could spread 'em and see exactly where that elusive bastard was.  Also, while this didn't make it to the vid, there's nothing quite like having somebody walk in on you while you're bent over and spread out in front of a mirror, butt-cheek in one hand, wad of TP in the other.

Senator Creepy and the Slenderman Portal

Another long one.  Originally written on the way back from Arkansas.  A little after 2am, I was driving south of Montgomery, Alabama on US 231, wired on very bad (but very strong) truckstop coffee.  I had been on the road for ten hours, without A/C, and under the constant threat of truck break-downage.  I passed a brightly-lit 1950s-era motel near Brundidge and the video wrote itself:  Me, Fruity, and a few others would be trapped at a vintage motel, and hijinks would ensue.  There would even be a Beastie Boys tribute.  At the time I thought it was hysterical.  However, that which seems funny at night doesn't always seem so funny in day.  By the time the rewrites were done, only the motel remained from the original script.

Most of the backgrounds in the video (the motel rooms, the creepy catacombs, and the motel's neon sign) are computer-generated.  

Invasion Of the Pantiliners With Faces

Natural evolution from the previous video.  I have to give credit to Deb "SassyBeMe" for the mopping scene.  Evidently, a highly-useful study concluded that mopping could be pleasurable for women because of the indirect stimulus on certain anatomically-correct bits.  Or something.  I think if pantiliners really did come with faces, the sanctity of marriage would really be in a heap of hurt.

What Not To Do With A Used Minipad

Originally a video about my efforts to quit dipping, it quickly (and quite predictably) degenerated into something else.

(Don't) Shave Your Pubes For Chist

He doesn't want them, anyway.  When you wind up with more bloopers than actual video, you know you've had a good time.  This was based on an actual tattoo found on an atheist facebook page.  I laughed about it for two days straight, so the obvious solution was to make a video.  The most blasphemous thing about it was that I never thought to use the repainted abomination from Italy as "Chist."

Cowboy Jeans

You can't always wear what you want.  And cowboy jeans are notoriously unforgiving when it comes to bodily warehouse storage space.

The Elastic Waistband Mostly Comes At Night

... mostly.

Wiping From Front To Back

Spend some time with me and Miss Robin as we discuss the finer points of feminine hygiene.  I wish I could blame reefer or prescription pills on our shared goofiness, but at night, when its just the two of us, this is what usually happens.

What I Love About I-40 In East Arkansas

Cartoon inspired by true events.  Also works for any flat, limbo-riddled, flat boring mind-numbing stretch of endless highway you've ever passed over ...

Poopie Bag Touch

First video made after leaving Arkansas.  Took me awhile to get my footing again.  I quite obviously don't have it back yet.

Giant Nutsack and the Face Eater

Actually written and recorded the summer before, but never uploaded.  For obvious reasons.

Lady Gums and the Crimson Record

Longest single video I had made to this point, and using the most special effects.  After the unexpected break-up with Smith, I dove headfirst into a new video and didn't look up for almost three weeks.  When something awful happens in my life, I made a video.  As long as I had more special effects to render, and more green-screen to shoot, I wouldn't have to deal with the horrible reality.

FU One Million Moms

Probably shouldn't have wasted my breath on these tired cows, but it was a slow news week.

The HughesNet Herpes Virus

Not sure who's worse, HughesNet or Paypal.  If only they could combine strengths ... Also, me and Smith broke up halfway through the filming of this vid.  Check out my face during the "ramen noodles boiling over comment;" that wasn't just acting.

If the Dragons Escaped Atari Adventure

... it probably wouldn't be as fun as you think.  Had so much fun during this, and want to do more Atari-themed vids in the future.  A boyhood fantasy would be to actually insert myself into the Adventure kingdom.

Aliens Vs Senators

Some things will (sadly) always be relevant ... Another boyhood fantasy come to life.  After doing the fembots, the next greatest avatar from my childhood was the aliens.  Once I had decided to make the video, it wrote itself in a matter of hours.  I built the facehugger first, and actually had expandable breathing sacs on the sides, which would inflate and deflate by blowing into some holes on the back.  Building the full-grown alien warrior proved much easier than actually wearing the full-grown alien warrior.  The close-up alien mouth with inner striking teeth proved the most difficult to do, but it was all cardboard, spraypaint and aluminum foil.  I had started work on an egg (for to deliver the facehugger to the unfortunate senator), but three weeks had already passed, and I figured it would look just as good to have the facehugger to climb over the side of the couch anyway.

Paypal Is Full Of Dookie

So if you were wondering what that smell was, it wasn't just the septic tank backing up ... Sadly based on actual events, and the utter BS involved.  The original version featured an additional scene with an email sent to the BBB, which was another big waste of time.

Buttplug and the Bondage Bot

Voted best use of marital aides in a you tube video.

If Real Life Were More Like Facebook

If its so damn annoying, why can't we quit it?

Edwina the Kung Fu Boobie Bot

What started out as a simple video about short-term memory loss quickly degenerated into something far worse.  Its actually Tarantino's fault; I watched "Kill Bill" the night before writing.  Also, the Japanese captions are actual descriptions for the characters (although don't ask what).

If Escape the Room Games Were Real

What if escape-the-room games were real?  I had wanted to do this for a year or so, but wasn't sure if it would play.  Turns out I was wrong.  Fun to do, and should do another.